Harry Potter & the Sequel that made no sense
by Claire Violet Thorpe
Summary: The sequel to the first story, in which Tyler Potter must face more dangers which are coming from the school itself...
1. Title Credits

Title: **Harry Potter and the Sequel that made no sense**

Author: Jacquel Carey

Date Started: September 19, 2006

Summary: Here's the sequel to the story that made no sense…

Setting: Leeds 1992; Hogwarts 1992

Genre: humor/parody, comedy, general

Rating: PG-13 for silliness, scary moments, and mild language

Warning/Spoilers: Don't bother reading this if you haven't read the second book. Also, this book isn't for those who have no sense of humor.

Disclaimer: Do you think I'm Joanne?

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The year is 1992, and Tyler Potter is 12 years old. He is at home with his foster family, the Murteys. Since he ran away from home last year, Mr. and Mrs. Murtey locked Tyler in his room and banned all contacts with the outside world. Marty and Hayley rescue him and they go to the Snape household. There, Hayley's younger sister Chloe develops a huge and deadly crush on him.

_The story follows Chamber of Secrets, and Stacey is not the Boy-Who-Was-Kidnapped. Elijah Grey is the Boy-Who-Was-Kidnapped. Not only does Tyler have to deal with Elijah, Chloe, and a teacher who's popular for all the wrong reasons, he must deal with a monster who is attacking and freezing students._

_Fingers are being pointed at Tyler, for they think that he opened the Chamber of Secrets. Fingers are also being pointed at Malcolm and Hagrid as well. After Marty is frozen, Tyler, Hayley, Coco, and Sophia find themselves dealing with the monster. Hagrid is taken to Azkaban. Chloe befriends a boy named Stannie, who is really the evil Adolovsky. Elijah is beginning the journey into discovering who he really is._

_One day, Marya and Chloe are kidnapped. Marya escapes and tells everyone that Chloe has died. Feeling guilty, Tyler takes Hayley and Sophia and they go into the Chamber of Secrets. There, Tyler meets Lord Adolovsky as a young man and an evil snake. Tyler kills the snake and saves Chloe._

_The story ends when the crazy teacher is carted to the mental hospital and Hagrid returns. Tyler is happy to know that he had saved Chloe Snape, but he is upset because he must return to the Murteys. But with his friends behind him, Tyler feels that he can face anything…_

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And so we begin with the sequel to the story, which, unfortunately, makes no sense!


	2. A Talk With God

**PROLOGUE**

[_cut to: after the 1st story has ended. Harry Potter is standing before God. God is reading a book when God looks up and sees Harry_.]

**God**: Hello, Harry, I see that you got my message.

**Harry**: Well, yeah. I didn't plan anything else for today.

**God**: I see that you have met Tyler. How is he?

**Harry**: Well, Tyler, for lack of a better word, could be doing better…

**God**: Ok, I can see where this is going…

**Harry**: Tyler is a very unhappy boy. His foster family abuses him and he has no friends. He asked me if he could stay over at my house for the summer.

**God**: I see. That poor boy. He has no family and he must live in a family that hates him.

**Harry**: And not only that, Tyler doesn't know that he was famous until he met a gnome…

**God**: What was the gnome's name?

**Harry**: Buckanuv. Anyway he says that Tyler was famous because he defeated the sorcerer Adolovsky when the sorcerer came to his house and killed his parents when he was a baby…

**God**: Oh, dear…

**Harry**: What?

**God**: I was afraid of this.

**Harry**: Afraid of what?

**God**: You see, I hate it when history repeats itself.

**Harry**: Such as—

**God**: Well, Harry, your life story hasn't been a very good one, since Lord Voldemort killed your parents and you has to go live with your cruel uncle and aunt. But then you get sent to Hogwarts, meet Ron and Hermione, and defeat Lord Voldemort many times…

**Harry**: I see what you mean.

**God**: Harry, I meant that your life story is repeating itself because you [_and so many others_] have failed to learn anything.

**Harry**: But that doesn't make any sense!

**God**: Of course that doesn't make any sense! Not when someone else has to live your life story! [_brings out signs_] Now observe these two signs; one over here [_a diary_] and one over there [_a snake_]. The key to defeating this sorcerer is to obtain these two signs and getting to the next level.

**Harry**: Now I really don't get it.

**God**: Of course. And if you need help, the answers lie in the stars above.

**Harry**: OK. Now you're starting to confuse me. Stars above?

**God**: Uh, that's kind of the point, Harry.

**Harry**: What point?

**God**: I'm speaking to you in riddles. That's the kind of thing that confuses you now but later, you'll come to your senses and say to yourself, "_Oh, now I get what God was trying to tell me. Right, the stars above_."

**Harry**: Alright. So I have to find the snake and the diary.

**God**: Exactly. Now, on your way…[_Harry prepares to leave, but God stops him_] Oh, and another thing…

**Harry**: What?

**God**: Take care of your sister.

**Harry**: What? You mean Hillarie? Well, she's not very attractive and she's also a nerd…

**God**: No, silly. Not Hillarie. Chloe. Do keep an eye on her.

**Harry**: God, what do you mean I have to keep an eye on Chloe? What's going to happen to her? And what does she have to do with Tyler?

**God**: [_drifting away_] This show is brought to you by…

**Harry**: God?

**God**: …the kids of…

**Harry**: God! Wait! What of my scar?

**God**: …Trippin the Wiz. [_disappears, leaving Harry alone and confused_]

**Harry**: God!!! [_just then, he vanishes from the African plains and back into his own bedroom. Cut to: Monty Python's John Cleese wearing a wizarding robe and hat and sitting at a desk in a normal neighborhood_.]

**John** **Cleese**: And now for something completely different. [_Harry finds himself lying asleep in bed. little does he know that when he wakes up, he would have to go on a new mission_.]

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Here begins **the Sequel that made no sense. **This is what happens when Harry wishes that he wasn't Harry Potter anymore. Tyler Potter, our new famous boy-wizard, is about to enter his 2nd year at Hogwarts. And with Joanne's permission, we have placed him in _The Chamber of Secrets_. We are so going to regret this…

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Now brace yourselves, for Tyler Potter has returned to butcher the **Harry Potter** story again!


	3. The Worst Day in Tyler’s Life

**The Worst Day in Tyler's Life**

Tyler James Potter woke up. Once again, he was back at the Murteys. And in case you wanted to know who the Murteys were, here's the thing: After Tyler returned home from Hogwarts, Mr. and Mrs. Murtey were very mad at Tyler and they punished him for running away from home. Tyler was soon locked up in his room and he was not allowed to leave the house for anything. It looks as if Tyler was doomed to spend another terrible summer at the Murteys.

So Tyler spent his days crying in his room, his prison. Leaf (his owl) and Angel (his dog) were his only friends. He missed his friends Marty McGuire, Coco Riddle, Sophia Muller, Alistair Johnson, and Hayley Snape. It was Hayley he missed the most out of all his friends. It was Hayley who first showed him love. He missed Hayley so much it hurt. It pained him to know that Hayley was near him and yet they were so far apart.

On the night of his 12th birthday, Tyler was with his pets Leaf and Angel and they were all by themselves in Tyler's locked room. Even though Mrs. Murtey was kind enough to allow Tyler to leave his room every morning and evening, this time, she didn't even notice him at all. He was getting tired of the abuse and imprisonment and he wanted to see Hayley now.

Angel shared his sentiments and she growled; she too hated the Murteys. Leaf had gone out for the evening, with a message from Tyler tied to his leg. The boy and his dog clawed at the doorknob until it opened and they burst out the room, with Tyler looking like he just came from some concentration camp, with his pale skin and all his bones could be seen and his dark hair that was so long it fell well past his shoulders and down his back.

The guests at the Murteys's dinner party gasped and screamed in fear, thinking that there was a monster coming out to destroy them. But it was just Tyler Potter trying to escape from his room, I mean _prison_. Chutney Murtey laughed, for Tyler's sudden appearance was all the entertainment for the day. But Mrs. Murtey was not happy; she had told Chutney to take Tyler his food, but the greedy boy had eaten it all and said nothing to his parents.

One by one, the guests left and some said that social services were surely getting involved in this case. One person particularly said that Lily Snape was going to hear of this. Mr. Murtey was so furious with Tyler that he had the boy locked away in his room once again, but had the door replaced with a wall so that Tyler could never get out again. And Chutney was sent to bed without dessert for a week.

Tyler cried; it truly was the worst day in his life. He was lost and all alone in a world that cared nothing for him and living with a cruel and abusive foster family. But even then, he had no idea that things in the wizarding world was just as bad…

And it all began with Buckanuv's visit.

Buckanuv was a gnome who Tyler had met the year before, when the poor boy didn't even know his name was Tyler Potter. The gnome had confirmed that Tyler was the Boy-Who-Lived and he was the son of James and Shannon Potter. This time, Buckanuv feared for Tyler's safety after seeing that the Murteys had locked him up as prisoner in their home.

So he slipped into Tyler's room, where the boy was barely living. He said, "My goodness, Tyler Potter, what on earth happened to you?"

"They locked me in here," said Tyler, "and I can't ever come out again." He then burst into tears.

Buckanuv sighed and said, "We'll get you out of there, Tyler. Don't you worry." Just then, he screamed his head off and grew cold.

"What is it?" cried Tyler.

"The Chamber of Secrets," said Buckanuv. "It's been opened. Mind you, Tyler Potter, someone has half a mind to kill you…"

Tyler did not forget his first year at Hogwarts, where the evil Professor Marin had tried to kill him several times. It turned out that he was working for the evil Magician, who wanted to kill Tyler and take over the world.

Buckanuv then continued, "As for those Murteys, we'll give them a good scare yet. They have no right to treat you like that and the headmaster will surely find out about this." Leaf hooted and Tyler opened the only window in his room and let him back in. The owl had a message, which read: _don't worry, Tyler; we're getting you out of that horrible place now! _He looked out the window and saw Hayley and Marty waving to them. Gala was right behind them. Tyler knew that his was about to be rescued from his sad life once again.

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Here begins the second part of the story of **Tyler James Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived…Just So He Could Destroy The** _Harry Potter_ **Story**.

Author's Note: Since Tyler is in the story, I've kind of butchered "_Chamber of Secrets_" a bit and made it so that Tyler's famous act as Boy-Who-Lived would attract more than just a Ginny-type character. And she would send Tyler to his death…

Reviews are greatly appreciated. You can also slam Harry for destroying the Potterverse and just making it so that another boy had to take his place!

Next Chapter: **Escape to Liverpool**


	4. Escape to Liverpool

**Escape to Liverpool **

A week after Tyler was duly punished for ruining the dinner party, Hayley Snape knew that something was up. He hadn't gotten any letters from Tyler, and he wondered if somehow Tyler had forgotten about him. So one night, he, Marty McGuire, and Galadriel Black loaded up the DeLorean and took off in search of Tyler.

Tyler was in his room, crying his eyes out. Buckanuv the gnome had told him that going to Hogwarts was out of the question sue to rumors that the evil Magician had somehow managed to make his way back and was seeking out poor little Tyler. But not to worry about Tyler, for Buckanuv was able to sneak him his meals and speak to him as often as he could. The Murteys never bothered him, thinking that he would just die in the room and be forgotten.

One night, Tyler got a letter, which read: _don't worry, Tyler; we're getting you out of that horrible place now_! He looked out the window and saw Hayley and Marty waving to them. Gala was right behind them. Tyler knew that his was about to be rescued from his sad life once again.

Hayley Snape frowned. A week had passed and he hadn't heard from Tyler Potter. So he and Marty McGuire slipped into the DeLorean that Hillarie had claimed was hers and drove off.

Galadriel Black said, "And where are you two going?"

"We're looking for Tyler," said Hayley. "I haven't heard from him."

"He's living at the Murteys," said Gala. "I know how to get there." They all took off in the car and pulled up next to the house.

Buckanuv was with Tyler and they were planning to escape when Hayley showed up. "Tyler?" he cried out.

"Oh, Hayley!" Tyler cried out. "You're here to rescue me!"

"Yes I am," said Hayley as he climbed through the window and kissed Tyler. "Now get your things; you're leaving tonight!"

Tyler ran to his poor excuse for a closet and pulled out his school trunk and broom. He handed those to Marty and Gala. He himself was just about to climb out when Mrs. Murtey shouted, "He's getting away! Clarence, catch him!"

At once, all hell broke loose. Buckanuv threw up an impenetrable wall, which blocked Mr. Murtey from entering Tyler's room and gave the boy a few minutes to escape. When Tyler got out, he handed Leaf and Angel to Gala. She took them and left. "C'mon," said Marty, gesturing to the DeLorean. Tyler and Hayley climbed into the DeLorean and it took off before Clarence Murtey could get Tyler.

When they reached Gala's house, Gala said, "That was quite dangerous."

"Stop worrying," said Marty. "No one will ever know." To Tyler, he said, "We'll get you settled in my roo...hey, where'd he go?"

Hayley took Tyler's broom and both boys had flown to Liverpool. As they landed and Tyler took in the scenery, Hayley said to him, "I was so worried about you. Did they not treat you well?"

"No," said Tyler. "They locked me up in my room and never let me out for anything. Only Buckanuv came and spoke to me."

"I saw him," said Hayley. "I captured him and made him talk. He told me about who you were living with and how they treated you. I had to rescue you."

"I'm glad you did," said Tyler as he curled up in Hayley's arms. They kissed quickly, then rushed off to a nearby beach house, where they spent the night lying in each other's arms, kissing like tomorrow never existed.

But tomorrow did come and Hayley had to bring Tyler to his house. Little did they know that they would soon be in big trouble...

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Author's note: Ok, I know this chapter is short, but then again, I don't like the Murteys very much and I'll make sure they come to a bad end. Same with Hillarie. But that's this chapter.

Please read and Review, not Read and Run!

** Harry**: And tell Jacquel you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing! I command you!

**Claire**: _Don't start this up again, Harry_!

Next Chapter: Meet the Snapes


	5. Meet the Snapes

**Meet the Snapes**

The next morning, Tyler woke up and saw Hayley, who was still asleep. He smiled, thinking about how the older boy was with him. Hayley loved Tyler, that was very true. But if you took a closer look at them, you could have forsworn that they were in love.

Hayley too woke up, and said, "We must get home now." Tyler stared at him with disbelief. Hayley said, "Well, my parents must be worried about me, and you need someplace to recover and don't worry about the Murteys, they won't find you where we're going to."

At the Snape household, Marty frowned as Hillarie demanded that he make breakfast for her, Hilda, Haleth, Henry, Hunter, Howard, Hannah, Harriet, and Heidi. Marty laughed and said, "Do it yourself, Hillarie; I'm not your servant."

The others laughed and Hillarie threw the carton of milk at Marty's head. Lily saw the incident and snapped, "Hillarie Rose Snape, go straight to your room; you're grounded for the rest of the day!"

The other children laughed and teased Hillarie as she slunked off to her room.

Severus Snape walked in and said, "So has Hillarie done something cruel to Martin once again? Sometimes I wonder if we should have put her away years ago."

"I don't know, Severus," said Lily, "Professor Dumbledore was very much against the idea of us getting any sort of help for Hillarie."

Hayley and Tyler chose to slip in unnoticed and headed straight to Hayley's room. Lily and Severus had no idea that Hayley had been out last night. Marty saw them and snapped, "Where the hell have you two been?"

"Martin," Lily said sternly, "there is to be no use of bad language in this house."

"Yeah," said Marty, "That was before these two lovebirds tried to take off without inviting me."

Lily smiled as soon as she saw Tyler. "You rescued him?" she cried out. "Tyler, you poor little thing, did they hurt you?"

"No," said Tyler.

"They locked him away, like a prisoner," said Hayley. "They even had the nerve to put up a wall in the doorway and windows so he couldn't escape."

"That is outrageous," said Severus. He looked at Tyler, who appeared to be so thin he was nearly starving. "Hayley, get Mr. Potter something to eat; your mother and I will deal with those Murteys," said Severus as he and Lily took their wands and left the house.

Hayley took Tyler to the table and saw all his siblings. He said, "Guys, this, of course, is Tyler Potter; Tyler, this is Hilda, Haleth, Henry, Hunter, Howard, Hannah, Harriet, and Heidi."

The others waved to him and Tyler grew shy. Heidi said, "Is this really ***THE*** Tyler Potter?"

"Of course," said Hayley.

Heidi cried out, "I can't wait to tell Sadie!! Tyler Potter is here, in our house!"

"Sadie Who?" Tyler asked curiously.

"Sadie Schroeder," said Hayley. "Sadie lived next door to us for so many years, and she says that her one and only dream is to be the wife of Tyler Potter; like that'll ever happen." Tyler sighed and collapsed in Hayley's arms. Hayley said, "I'll just go put him in my room."

"Not with Hillarie there, you won't," snapped Hilda. "He'll just have to sleep in the living room then." A chorus of groans followed.

Just then Severus and Lily returned with all of Tyler's things. Hayley said, "What happened back there?"

Lily said, "When I saw that Clarence Murtey, I wanted to give him the zapping of a lifetime."

"And I stopped her before she could do that," said Severus. "But they admitted everything and allowed us to get Tyler's things. He'll be staying with us for the rest of the summer."

At once, all the Snapes and Marty cheered. But the only person who didn't cheer was Hillarie Snape. She hated her family and detested Tyler Potter, who she thought was ruining her life. Tyler awoke only to see Lily, then he fell back asleep. Lily made plans to get Tyler to a doctor, call social services, and tell Dumbledore about how the Murteys were treating him.

And little did they know that very soon Tyler's fate and theirs would soon be bound together...

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Author's note: Yeah, I know, another short chapter. But don't worry, Tyler WON'T be marrying ANYONE's little sister. Not in my stories. But as for Heidi Snape's fate, I'm still undecided on that.

Please read and Review, not Read and Run! And subscribe as well! You'll never know when another chapter will come!

**Harry: **Thanks for not making Tyler marry anyone's little sister. To me, that's annoying.

** Claire:**_ Another reason why I'm writing this story, Harry. _

** Ginny: **You're so mean, Jacquel! Why can't Tyler marry Heidi?

** Claire: **_B__ecause there's already another girl lusting after him. So there! And no, you can't change my story just to please yourself. _

Next Chapter: **In Knockturn Alley**


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